LOVE
4 Signs It’s Attachment and Not Real Love
People often confuse love and attachment to be the same thing.
Getting attached to someone is different from falling in love. Although most of the time, getting attached is mistakenly seen as falling in love with someone.
What about you, can you recall the last time you became attached to someone?
In my case, I know a few people who often jump from one relationship to another, and it makes me wonder how they are able to be with someone and call it “love.”
If you’re having trouble distinguishing love from being attached to someone, here are some signs to look out for.
Attachment is selfish.
Attachment is self-centered.
If loving someone is about caring for the person and their needs, attachment is the opposite.
Though you’re attached to someone, all you can think of is yourself.
You get attached to them because you are used to them being around to make you feel good. Their presence somehow boosts your ego and self-esteem.
You want them around so you feel less lonely. Aside from that, they are able to cater to your wants and needs.
However, you don’t care as much about them, whether it’s how they feel or what they need.
Again, your priority is yourself.
Attachment is manipulative.
Attachment is egocentric.
If you are attached to someone, you only think about the things that make you happy.
You might exhibit controlling behavior so that you can manipulate them into doing the things you want.
You favor things according to how it makes you feel. If something’s not done the way you like, you will try to change the person or make them change the situation to your liking.
You will try to manipulate the way they act around you and you might even try to change their character and personality.
With attachment, you only want them to exist to serve your needs.
You get jealous and anxious if they go out and spend time with their family or friends. This can lead you to start manipulating them so that they can spend most of their time with you.
You are manipulating them because you only care for yourself.
Attachment comes and goes.
Attachment is transient.
If you are attached to someone, it can feel like you can’t let go of them.
This is because attachment is transient — — in other words, temporary.
You can get attached to someone as long as they make you feel good, but when that feeling fades, attachment follows. Therefore, attachment can disappear at any time.
Since it is only on the surface-level, nothing deep is involved. You get attached to someone easily since it’s about you and your needs, not them.
Attachment is toxic.
Attachment is toxic when neither of you makes room for compromise and you choose to stay stubborn with each other. You both want to take control.
With that, you neglect personal growth and development.
Attachment becomes toxic when you are not only risking your own personality and growth, but also your partner’s because you need them to fulfill your own needs.
Also, it’s not fair to demand someone to change themselves just so you can experience a better relationship with them.
Sometimes, you may be faced with the impossible question of whether you are in love with the person or you are simply attached to them.
The way you act and feel in a relationship is your best indicator if the emotion you are feeling is real love or just attachment.
