DATING ADVICE
5 Easy Ways to Deal With Being Ghosted
No matter what stage of a relationship you’re in, rejection always stings.
It’s even worse when the person just ups and leaves without giving you any closure. You’re stuck wondering where it all went wrong and whether or not there was anything you could’ve done.
The “ghosting” phenomenon is ruthless in the dating scene.
Yes, with technology and the internet, it has become a lot easier to connect with people. But it also makes it easier for someone to move on from one person to the next, pretending it’s less “real” because it’s happening behind a screen anyway.
It’s a double-edged sword that leaves thousands of broken hearts and unresolved feelings in its wake.
That being said, you know you’ve been ghosted when:
- They stop responding to your texts and calls.
- They’ve completely cut off all activity on their social media accounts (at least the ones you know of). Or they suddenly won’t acknowledge your presence on social media, almost like you never existed in the first place.
And in some cases:
- They don’t show up to previously arranged commitments.
It’s horrible, it’s painful, it can be traumatic, and it sucks.
But it doesn’t have to leave you powerless.
Here’s how you can recover from being ghosted.
Avoid blaming yourself.
Remember that being ghosted is less an indication of your worth and more a reflection of the ghoster’s own issues.
Ghosting abruptly ends a relationship, leaving no room for uncomfortable conversations that should happen during a breakup. This means that the ghoster simply chose the easy — no, the cowardly way out.
It’s completely normal to have your “what if” and “what could have been” questions, but don’t let it eat you up.
The guilt is the ghoster’s burden to carry, not yours.
Don’t dwell on it.
You can have your regrets. You can run a million scenarios in your mind trying to figure out where it went wrong and what you could have done differently. But don’t let the guilt overstay its welcome.
Give yourself time to mourn a relationship that you feel could have blossomed into something great. After all, suppressing the pain and pretending you’re not hurting will only do more harm than good.
Once you’ve finished crying your heart out, wipe the tears from your eyes, brush off the dust on your knees, and pick yourself back up.
You know what they say, what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger.
Don’t chase after the ghoster.
This person made you give them your heart only for them to stomp on it, chew it, and spit it out. Yet you’re still running after them with your heart in your hands?
Ah, such is the foolish consequence of being in love.
But don’t do it.
Don’t keep texting them even after you’re already sure that they’ve ghosted you.
You can say your piece. You can send them a long paragraph letting out all your pain and frustrations. But after that, don’t reach out to them anymore.
If you had a fresh wound that was bleeding, you wouldn’t keep picking at it and make it worse, would you?
Don’t allow it to breed unhealthy habits.
When people get their hearts broken, they can sometimes become withdrawn and, in worse cases, develop toxic habits to “protect themselves.” Not letting anyone get too close, leaving a relationship before it can become too real, leaving other people first so they don’t get a chance to leave them, etc.
But this is only if you let it happen.
Start by forgiving yourself and forgiving the person who hurt you. I know the second part isn’t easy, but holding a grudge too tightly and letting the pain consume you will only end up hurting you more in the long run.
Take care of yourself.
If this loss has resulted in a lack of sleep, countless drunken nights, and an unhealthy diet, then it’s time to shift your focus and invest in self-care.
Go out with friends. Get some exercise. Eat healthy food. And above all, be compassionate with yourself.
It’s hard to come back from the pain of being left in the dust with no explanation, almost like you’re not even deserving of one.
It’s heartbreaking and you’re allowed to acknowledge your pain.
But you can choose not to let it ruin you.
Yes, there are plenty of fish in the deep and vast sea. The right one is out there for you.
If you spend your life cowering in a corner, frightened by a ghost, then you’ll never find that person.
