DATING TIPS
First Date Topics That Can Guarantee a Second Date
First dates are special.
Whether you’ve met this person for the first time or have known them for a while and have only now been interested in them romantically, how your first date goes can determine the fate of your relationship.
In fact, a study by Willis and Todorov revealed that people tend to judge a person’s trustworthiness, competence, and likeability within the first 100 milliseconds of seeing their face.
This means that first impressions, especially in a romantic context, affect not only your behavior towards potential romantic partners, but their behavior around you as well.
So, how do you go about leaving a great romantic first impression?
That’s easy.
Make the first date unforgettable.
One way you can do that is by making sure your conversation flows as smoothly and naturally as possible, which means barely any awkwardness or lingering discomfort.
Trust me, no one can resist a person they feel comfortable talking to.
With that said, here are some first date topics to get the conversation going.
Ask about their day.
This topic does seem uninspiring and bordering on painful small talk, but it can be a great conversation starter. You can use this to tap into the other person’s thoughts or thought process.
Did they have a great day at work?
Did they spend their free time at home or with friends?
Do they have any funny anecdotes to share?
Talking about a person’s day can reveal a lot more about their personality than you think.
Ask them about themselves.
Just don’t make it feel like an interview.
The basic back-and-forth getting-to-know-you questions are fine, to an extent. But they get old fast and often leave you wondering what to talk about next.
Instead, when you ask a person a question about themselves, try to build conversation based on their answer.
For instance, if they say that chocolate is their favorite snack, then you can talk about a funny chocolate-related anecdote or ask them what made chocolate their favorite.
Also, people love talking about themselves whether they admit it or not. This is also a great way to make them feel comfortable during your date because they’ll feel that you’re genuinely interested in getting to know them.
Talk about your likes and dislikes.
A great way to build a connection is to find out whether you share similar likes or dislikes. You can ask them about their favorite type of music, movies, books, or hobbies.
If it turns out you don’t have similar tastes, at the very least you’ve gotten to know each other better, which is always a great start.
Avoid certain topics.
Politics and religion are the most common first date conversation landmines. But some might argue that knowing where a person stands on key social issues right off the bat is important, especially before diving into a committed relationship with them.
Still, there are certain topics that are best avoided on a first date.
The first one is your personal trauma.
Don’t “trauma dump” on the first date, unless your conversation has turned real deep and the other person welcomes it. Otherwise, it can burden the other person and make them feel uncomfortable.
You should also avoid boasting about your own personal achievements. No one likes a narcissist.
Remember, this date is supposed to be a way for you to get to know each other better, not as an outlet for you to flaunt the things you think make you great.
It’s also best not to talk about your ex too much, even if it’s just to rant about them. The other person might think you still have some lingering feelings for them and can choose to end your relationship before it can even start.
Don’t Forget to Have Fun
The good news is that you can talk about almost anything on your first date as long as you approach it the right way. Once you’re able to build on that momentum, the conversation will flow naturally.
Then again, there are cases when even the best conversation starters won’t work. If the chemistry isn’t there, then there’s nothing you can really do other than call it quits before it can get even more awkward and painful.
What matters is that both you and your date have fun! Be engaging. Be curious. Be interested.
The goal is to form a meaningful connection, and that starts with being genuine in getting to know the other person, and vice versa.
References:
Willis, Janine and Alexander Todorov. 2006. “First Impressions: Making Up Your Mind After a 100-Ms Exposure to a Face.” Sage Journals https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2006.01750.x.
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