RELATIONSHIPS

Are Men Supposed to Know It All?

Lorraine Villorejo
3 min readMay 12, 2023
a man in red shirt contemplating

It’s his job as a man to know what’s on my mind. If he truly loved me, he should be aware of my needs and desires without telling him.

This is according to my friend, Sheyna, who dated her partner Ruben for five years. Even during the few relationships that she’d had before, she firmly believed that it was the responsibility of men to intuitively understand her thoughts and feelings, without her having to communicate them clearly.

And I know what you think. If this is how she feels, how did their relationship last for five years? Someone with that mindset can’t possibly stay in a relationship, let alone a long-term one, right?

Well, it was because of Ruben’s love for Sheyna. He was so consumed by his feelings for her that he did everything he could to maintain the relationship, even compromising his values and beliefs about how a relationship should be.

But in the end, they still called it quits. Let me tell you their story.

Although Ruben loved Sheyna, he knew that her attitude was unfair and horrible.

She often yelled at and criticized him for not knowing what she wanted or needed, so he tried his best to be attentive and caring.

Despite their differences, they still managed to stay together for five years. But as time went on, Ruben found himself growing increasingly exhausted by the constant guessing game.

He longed for open communication and clarity in their relationship, but Sheyna was adamant that he should be able to read her mind.

And that made him feel like he was constantly walking on eggshells around her, afraid to say or do anything that might upset her.

He felt like he was being set up to fail, no matter how hard he tried to anticipate her needs.

Until one day, it was as though he woke up and realized he had had enough. Their differences were too great to overcome.

With a heavy heart, he decided to end things with Sheyna. Of course, it wasn’t an easy decision, but he knew that it was the right one.

Although he still cared for her deeply, Ruben knew that he deserved a relationship where he could feel heard and valued.

And as he moved on from his relationship, he held onto the hope that someday he would find the kind of love and respect that he truly deserved.

Men are not mind readers.

Ruben and Sheyna’s story is just one of thousands of stories of relationships that failed because of unrealistic expectations.

In a relationship, expecting your partner to know everything that’s going on in your head is not only unrealistic but also unfair. No one can read minds, not even your soulmate.

That said, what we should be doing is to foster open and healthy communication to freely express our feelings and opinions.

So let’s ask questions, listen actively, and express ourselves clearly. It may not be as exciting as having someone read our minds, but it’s the only way to build a strong and lasting relationship.

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