Online Dating Shouldn’t Be Difficult for Men

You found her.

Was it her smile? Her eyes? Maybe it was her personality that you could connect with in her description or side comments. Perhaps it was her values or religious compatibility that attracted you. Perhaps it was a mix of all of them.

Out of all the ladies on the site, you’ve decided that she is going to be the first one that you want to get to know.

But a thought hits you.

“What am I going to say?”

You begin to add more questions that strike at your uncertainty. You begin to entertain defeatist remarks like “she isn’t going to like me” or “I’m sure there are tons of other guys that she could chat with.”

You begin to remember the times before when you were lied to, betrayed, or disrespected by an attractive woman that cheated on or laughed at you. Maybe you remember a time when you said hello to a woman before and she ignored your affection.

Before you know it, you decide that it won’t be worth it to try. You close the window, shut down your computer and go to sleep alone.

What if I told you that she was waiting all this time for you to say hello?

Instead of taking that shot, it is now a certainty that she won’t be in your arms. But you’ve decided that you don’t want to lose her without a fight. If she doesn’t accept you, you’re okay with moving on. So how are you going to make your first move?

1. Stop shutting yourself down and greet her hello.

It doesn’t have to be elaborate. A simple “hi” goes a lot further than silence. Nor is there a need to think thoroughly about it. You aren’t having a serious conversation, so you want to create a light mood between the both of you.

Just kick it off with the first thing that comes to mind. Ask open-ended questions like “how are you doing today?” or “how is life for you on your side of the globe?” Don’t rush it, and take it slow and easy. You can even be playful and try a pick-up line to break the ice.

2. Take initiative and find topics and interests you both have in common.

Do you love golfing? Assuming you do and even if you think she might not love golfing, ask her if she ever played before. Of course, keep the topics of interest at a PG-13 level. You might be surprised if she asks you about what golfing is like or what you like about it.

Ask about her family. Or if she has pets. It’s that simple. If you find one thing you have in common, you have topics to talk about in your next conversation. But don’t just let it be about her. If she asks about what you like, be sure to share your interests.

If she decides to ask if you know about a K-pop girl group or the current Tik-Tok dance you may have no idea what she’s talking about, but if you have an open mind and ask her to tell you about it, she will not stop talking about it until it’s time to sleep. That’s how effective finding mutual interests can be.

3. Continue to develop your relationship.

Make sure to greet her good morning or good night from time to time. You don’t even need to wait at a certain time of the day. Just greet her through a text or message and wait for her to reply until she isn’t busy anymore.

As you converse further in the coming weeks or months, more intimate conversation topics will naturally develop between the both of you. As you get closer perhaps you might want to send her a gift that you think she might appreciate or coordinate with a florist near her area and send her flowers. She will love it.

It all starts with the first step.

It’s always the beginning that’s the hardest part. What makes it more difficult is when it’s you that’s sabotaging your efforts at finding the love of your life.

Drop off all of your thoughts and get out there and say hello. Don’t invest too much thought into your first meeting. If she begins to respond to your greetings, respond in kind. Make it a light and easy conversation at first.

If she begins to warm up to you, follow through with finding common topics of interest. It can be anything under the sun. If she responds well, she will also go forward with topics of her own. Lastly, be prepared to go further if the both of you are getting along.

Send her greetings every now and then and have small chats along the way. Arrange for small gifts that you think she would love to receive.

All it takes is to overcome that first greeting. So say hello to that lucky lady today.