DATING ADVICE
What’s the Best Way to Reject Someone?
We’ve all been turned down for something.
We know what it’s like to feel the sting of rejection, especially when it comes to realizing that someone doesn’t want us as much as we want them.
It can be incredibly crushing to a person’s mental and emotional psyche.
In fact, studies have shown that people who are sensitive to rejection often end up with various mental health issues when rejected, such as depression and anxiety, among other things.
Unfortunately, this is an unavoidable scenario in the dating world.
Either you’re rejecting someone or you’re the one being rejected. You may decline an invite to go out on a date, choose to end a relationship, turn down people you’re not interested in, and so on.
It’s not as easy as it sounds, and it’s definitely not fun. The whole situation is just uncomfortable and painful for both sides.
Fortunately, there are ways you can reject someone without completely trampling on their heart.
Be honest and direct.
Don’t beat around the bush or sugarcoat your words too much. You need to be firm and tell them clearly that you’re no longer interested or that you no longer feel a spark in your relationship.
Otherwise, they might question your decision and think that they still have a shot at saving your relationship.
Don’t explain yourself too much.
Although honesty is important, you don’t need to go into too much detail.
A simple “I’m not ready to be in a relationship right now” or “I don’t feel a connection between us anymore” is more than enough.
The other person may ask questions and probe. But as long as you keep your point honest and simple, you won’t have to get into a heated debate over whether or not your relationship can still work out.
Show some kindness and tact.
Be compassionate.
It’s not easy being rejected, so kindness will go a long way in making the conversation a lot less painful and awkward for both of you.
Avoid playing the blame game as well.
It’s cliché, but the “it’s not you, it’s me” approach is a good way to explain the situation. Be constructive yet tactful.
Don’t point out any of their physical flaws either. You’re already breaking their heart, so there’s no reason to make them feel insecure as well.
You can try using the compliment sandwich when constructing your rejection speech. The way this works is that you sandwich a negative comment between two positive ones.
For instance, “You’re a really sweet person. Unfortunately, you’re just not my type. But whoever you end up with will be lucky to have you.”
Your body language and tone of voice are also important. Try not to indicate any hostility or resentment. Instead, be warm and gentle.
Find a good time and place to do so.
There is a right time and place for everything, even when it comes to breaking someone’s heart.
If you know that they have a big work event tomorrow or that they’re currently grieving a deceased relative, wait until they’re in the right headspace.
You have to be in the right headspace to dish out the rejection as well.
If you’re feeling stressed or frustrated, you might be a lot less kind when delivering the bad news, which could be more painful for both sides.
Oftentimes, the most tactful way to deliver a rejection is in person. But in some cases, a text or call can work just fine.
It depends on the person and the context of your relationship.
For instance, if you’ve only gone on one date, then a text will work. But if you’re already in a relationship with this person, it’s better to do it face-to-face.
Be prepared for how they react or respond.
They will get hurt. No matter how much you try to cushion the blow, you’re likely to get an emotional or angry response.
The only thing you can do is prepare for that ineviRecommended readingtability and treat them with the appropriate respect and understanding.
Rejection hurts, but at times it’s necessary.
Not only are you ending a romantic relationship before the other person can invest more time and effort in it, but you’re also setting a clear boundary for yourself.
It’s normal to feel bad for hurting someone else’s feelings, and it’s not something you should feel guilty over, especially when you’re doing it for both your sakes.
Sometimes, the right decision can end up being the hardest.
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