DATING

Relationships Are Work, but They Shouldn’t Be Hard

Lorraine Villorejo
3 min readJun 6, 2023
sad multi-ethnic couple having conflict in street
Photo by Keira Burton from Pexels

How often have you seen couples go through hell and back just to keep their relationship? Despite all the cheating, dishonesty, and disrespect, they still stay together because they say it’s just part of “ups and downs” in their journey.

Almost every couple I’ve met has gone through that. It’s like they’re stuck in a cycle of toxicity and dysfunction, thinking it’s normal to endure so much pain and suffering just to keep the relationship going.

But relationships are meant to bring out the best in us, not the worst. Yes, relationships require effort and commitment, but they shouldn’t be a constant battle.

They’re Hard If There’s Cheating

Of course, the ultimate deal breaker.

If your partner can’t keep it in their pants and decides to cheat on you, there’s no reason why you should stay with them.

Yes, you may love them, but do they love you? If you think they do, then they won’t do anything that would insanely hurt and destroy you.

You deserve someone who values and respects you enough to be faithful. Cheating is not a “rough patch” in a relationship, but rather a blatant act of disrespect and a violation of trust.

Don’t waste your time with someone who doesn’t have the decency to be faithful to you.

They’re Hard If There’s Abuse

Whether it’s physical, mental, emotional, or even verbal, abuse is abuse and it shouldn’t be tolerated no matter what.

I know it’s hard to detect abuse in a relationship. You can automatically turn a blind eye to any red flag or bad behavior your partner has because you love them and you think they’re the last person that would hurt you.

However, you should assess if their actions are making you feel scared, anxious, or unsafe. If they do, perhaps because they’re manipulating or controlling you which, by the way, is ultimately abuse.

Once you realize it indeed is abuse, remember that it’s not part of your journey to endure it.

No one, especially your loved one, has the right to mistreat you and make you feel less of a person.

They’re Hard If There’s No Accountability

It’s one thing to make a mistake and apologize for it, but it’s another thing to consistently blame others and make excuses for their behavior.

If your partner is constantly shifting the blame onto you, it just shows their lack of accountability and maturity.

And no, you shouldn’t wait for them to hurt you more until they mature. You don’t deserve that. You deserve someone willing to own up to their mistakes and make themselves better.

What are the challenges in a relationship?

Challenges in relationships include miscommunication, conflicts about values or goals, or anything that can be worked through with effort and commitment.

But cheating, abuse, and avoiding responsibility are major deal breakers in a relationship. No matter how much effort you put into it, you can’t fix them because they require a clear boundary and a willingness to prioritize your own well-being and safety.

In other words, it’s time to call it quits.

Remember, a relationship with the right person might take a lot of effort, but it shouldn’t be so hard.

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