Traditional Filipino Pre-Wedding Customs

Are you planning on marrying a Filipino woman? Are you considering making it authentically Filipino? If you are, then you should know about the Philippines’ traditional pre-wedding customs.

Many, if not most Filipino families have adopted modern Western ways of doing marriage.

Engaged couples, for example, hold bachelor and bachelorette parties instead of the traditional despedida de soltera or send-off party for the bride-to-be.

However, just because Filipinos practice Western customs doesn’t mean they have abandoned the old ways.

Why? Because both Western and traditional customs serve different purposes — a way to learn more about their future son-in-law, get to know your side of the family and make sure that you’re the right man for their daughter.

Filipino pre-wedding customs

Here are a few traditional pre-wedding customs that you should know about:

Paninilbihan

Paninilbihan means servitude.

For a certain period of time, you stay at your girlfriend’s house to help her family with different household chores. In short, it is laboring to gain her family’s approval.

Traditionally, paninilbihan looks like this: you gather and chop some firewood, fetch them water, wash the dishes, and do other kinds of domestic work.

Although this custom is not as common as it was before, some families have put a modern twist on it.

These days, driving your girlfriend’s mom to the fish market is considered a form of paninilbihan.

This custom, however, is not a requirement. Your in-laws won’t force you to do it. But in Filipino culture, it’s the ideal thing to do.

Take steps to show her family that you will be a sincere and responsible husband.

Pamamanhikan

Pamamanhikan refers to asking your girlfriend’s parents for their blessing.

This custom, however, is not as simple as you think.

Remember, Pamamanhikan is a crucial step to take. Filipino families want to make sure that everything is settled before your union.

So, this usually goes like this:

Before you ask for their blessing, you or your girlfriend ask for her parents’ permission first.

After everything is settled, you arrange for her family to visit yours. You may opt to bring food and gifts. You then introduce your families to each other. Finally, you formally ask for her hand in marriage.

Once they agree, that’s the only time that you will talk about the wedding. You can now discuss the location, invitation, food, and other important matters.

Pa-alam

This custom is about making wedding announcements.

There may be family members who aren’t present during the pamamanhikan.

To make sure that they are informed about the upcoming wedding, her parents will ask both of you to visit and give them the invitations.

This custom is mainly done for the elder family members who live in provinces since they may not be able to travel.

Dulog

Dulog refers to meeting a parish priest for a prenuptial interview.

This is considered a prerequisite for the wedding as most Filipinos are practicing Roman Catholics.

During this interview, the priest assesses whether or not you have the necessary understanding of Church doctrine and your responsibilities as a husband and wife.

Elements of this procedure include answering a form, having one-on-one and couple interviews, and attending a marriage seminar.

Kasal kumpisal

Another prerequisite of a Catholic marriage is kasal kumpisal which means wedding confession.

A few days before your wedding, you will be asked to make a final confession of your sins.

According to the faith, this is needed to cleanse your spirit before you take the body and wine of Christ as a married couple.

Despedida de Soltera

Instead of having a bachelorette party, Filipinos traditionally hold a despedida de soltera or a send-off party for the bride-to-be.

It is usually the bride’s family that organizes this as a farewell to her singlehood.

Unlike a bachelorette party with her close friends, a despedida de soltera is done through a formal dinner or a get-together between the families to celebrate the upcoming union.

Why do Filipinos follow these customs?

These pre-wedding traditions are rooted in the country’s long history and culture.

Filipinos believe that marriage is a life-long commitment. It should be centered around religion and family.

This is why you shouldn’t expect your wedding to happen on a whim.

If you want to marry a Filipina, you should think about these pre-wedding traditions.

You don’t really have to follow everything mentioned here. But if you fancy a truly authentic Filipino wedding experience, this is the way to go.