CHEATING & RELATIONSHIPS
Do Filipinas Tolerate Cheating?
And is it just a normal phase?
“I cheated because…”
You’re probably familiar with this particular phrase and the sentiments of people normalizing/considering cheating as a part of a relationship because, “It’s just a phase.”
Some argue that cheating is just a test stage that you and your partner must go through.
For us Filipinas, it goes deeper than that. Cheating is common. There was even a time in our culture when it was thought of as natural for men to fool around when they have girlfriends and to keep mistresses when they’re married.
“Natural lang sa kanila ‘yan,” (That’s natural for them) was what people often said to some sobbing woman. This piques my curiosity.
Is cheating natural? Is it just a phase? And should people — men and women alike — just put up with it?
For this article, I hope to share my views on it as a modern Filipina. To me, cheating shouldn’t be considered common nor a phase. Those who have been cheated on shouldn’t also be invalidated by some tired, old excuse under the guise of social standards.
No, it is a breach of trust.
One of the most significant foundations of relationships and love is trust. It has to be earned. Love doesn’t last without it and neither can a relationship. Once someone has placed their trust in you, betraying them breaches the very foundation of your relationship.
Trust takes time and effort to build. Maintaining it is the next phase, not breaking it. And is willingly and deliberately causing psychological suffering to someone you’re supposed to care about normal? If not, then why should cheating be considered normal?
No, it undermines the commitment in a relationship.
Commitment is crucial to a relationship, and cheating goes against the commitment that you and your partner have made to each other. It shows a lack of respect and dedication, and it leads to the erosion of the bond between you.
No, it is a sign of deeper issues.
Cheating is often a symptom of underlying problems in a relationship, such as lack of communication, emotional dissatisfaction, or unresolved conflicts.
Regardless of your issue with your relationship, cheating shouldn’t be an option. It’s not a remedy…or if it is, it’s worse than the disease.
If an issue can be resolved through communication, compromise, or other healthier ways, why not try them instead?
No, it can have long-term consequences.
Cheating can lead to the breakdown of the relationship, causing pain and heartbreak for both partners.
It can also have a negative impact on future relationships, as the person who cheated may struggle with guilt and the person who got cheated on will struggle with trust issues. They may even suffer from a form of guilt, wondering if they deserved to be cheated on.
This can lead to emotional trauma, in addition to suffering lingering self-doubt and mental health disorders like anxiety, stress, and depression.
Such is the impact of personal betrayal.
Cheating beats the purpose of being in a relationship.
This modern Filipina has learned these things about cheating:
- It is not a solution.
- It is not an excuse.
- It is not a simple mistake.
- It is a choice.
Cheating means you disrespect your partner.
I don’t know why some call it a phase when the consequences can be permanent. Even when you think you’ve resolved everything, the painful memories remain.
No, this Filipina doesn’t tolerate cheating.
I am aware that there are temptations everywhere and the rise of hookup culture is real, even here, in my relatively conservative country.
But I’ve spoken to many people–men and women alike–who have either been hurt by cheating partners or who fear they’ll never find anyone who values faithfulness. I’ve also personally met happy couples, and one of the things they have in common is faithfulness.
And all I can say to those who are on the fence about cheating is this: You have the power to decide the health of your relationship. Please make the wise choice. Please remember that the world is already full of liars and traitors. You can choose not to be one of them.
Instead of seeking distractions outside your relationship, may you choose to communicate and work together to find solutions that can strengthen your bond.
