REALITIES
Moving on from Rejection: Is It Easy?
Rejection is never a pretty feeling.
It doesn’t matter how successful you are and how self-assured or confident you are of your own worth. No one is immune from the sting that comes with being deprived of a connection you thought you could have.
Humans, at their core, are social beings always looking for a place to belong and people to belong with. So it’s no surprise that social rejection leaves a deeper mark on a person than any other physical pain.
In fact, a study by the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research shows that there’s barely any difference, neurologically, between emotional pain and physical pain, as they activate the same pain receptors in the brain.
And, like any wound, what matters is what you do after the incident to heal from it.
Accept what happened
The first step to moving on from rejection is by accepting that it happened.
If you spend a significant amount of time denying its implications or thinking you might still have a chance with that person if you try hard enough, then it will take even longer to overcome the pain.
Also, if you try again and get rejected a second time, the pain will only worsen.
Accept the rejection and all the pain that comes with it. That way it becomes easier to work through the emotional ache and heal from it.
Allow yourself time to process your feelings
Rejection comes with a myriad of emotions that can get tangled up inside your head and may cause you to lash out on others.
Let yourself feel your emotions — suppressing them won’t do you any favors. But don’t let them drown you either.
Pay attention to your emotions and don’t think that you’re not allowed to feel a certain way. Rejection is still a loss and you’re allowed to mourn that loss.
The important thing is finding a healthy way to manage those emotions.
Lean on your support system
One rejection isn’t the end of the world, even if it might feel that way. Remember that there are people out there who love and accept you.
When you’re still suffering from the throes of rejection, it can be easy to spiral into self-doubt and depression. This is why turning to your friends or family for moral support is important.
Connecting with people close to you can help remind you that you’re worthy and loved.
Adopt (or readopt) a healthy lifestyle
It’s so easy to get trapped in a cycle of self-pity and regret that you end up ignoring your own mental and physical health.
Losing sleep and forgetting to eat are inevitable consequences of heartbreak. But if you want to heal, then you need to actively work for it.
This means eating well, exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, etc. If you work on keeping your mind and body healthy, then your heart will eventually heal on its own, and moving on from rejection will become easier.
Try again when you’re ready
Don’t let one rejection close you off from opening your heart to someone else.
Dwell on what you can learn from rejection in order to grow and be better.
Once you’re ready, you can put yourself out there again, confident and prepared.
No one is exempt from rejection; it’s an inevitable part of life. But instead of dwelling on it, the best thing you can do is to move forward at your own healthy pace.
When you’re able to move on from rejection healthily, the next time it happens, it’ll be easier to pick yourself back up.
References:
Institute for Social Research, University of Michigan News. nd. “Study illuminates the ‘pain’ of social rejection.” Institute for Social Research, University of Michigan News.
https://isr.umich.edu/news-events/news-releases/study-illuminates-the-pain-of-social-rejection/#:~:text=ANN%20ARBOR%2C%20Mich.%E2%80%94Physical%20pain%20and%20intense%20feelings,activated%20during%20intense%20experiences%20of%20social%20rejection.
