COUPLES
Understanding Vulnerability: Why We Open up to Our Partners
Not many people see vulnerability as a strength, but rather as a weakness.
May it be a platonic, familial, or romantic relationship, vulnerability plays a role in understanding someone and being understood.
According to Shari Foos, a marriage and family therapist and founder of The Narrative Method, vulnerability is when a person willingly takes risks to reveal their emotions and weaknesses. This emotional openness is essential in all healthy relationships, as it gives way to a deeper understanding and evokes empathy, which is necessary in maintaining a healthy bond.
In short, being vulnerable means taking a risk. Taking a risk means taking a chance at getting hurt. At the same time, it’s an opportunity for growth.
Knowing that opening up to someone isn’t always an easy thing to do, how can two people in a relationship get to know each other if they don’t allow themselves to be vulnerable?
Will the relationship grow?
With that, here are some important factors to consider when it comes to vulnerability in a relationship.
It deepens the bond.
Being vulnerable can come in many different forms because it varies for each individual.
It allows you to understand your partner better and feel comfortable enough to share your own thoughts, beliefs, and values.
It also gives you a safe space where you can talk about your insecurities, which is often hard to bring up with other people. You won’t have to worry about being judged or confronted, where you end up thinking that being vulnerable is a bad thing.
With that, vulnerability fosters closeness between two people. It builds trust and intimacy in the relationship, which enables you to empathize with each other more.
It reduces feelings of shame.
As you grow more comfortable with your partner, you may no longer feel the need to shy away from expressing yourself.
Vulnerability fulfills the role where someone will understand your fears and feelings of shame.
It minimizes conflict.
Vulnerability encourages couples to have open communication, intimacy, and closeness.
According to Laura Sgro, a licensed psychotherapist from Los Angeles, rather than exhibiting destructive behavior such as deflecting, avoiding, or blaming the other person during an argument, vulnerability paves the way for partners to take accountability by having an open and honest discussion.
Taking note of one’s vulnerability during an argument or when responding to something hurtful thrown at you allows the other person to see the impact of their actions without being defensive about it.
In the end, vulnerability is essential in a relationship because it fosters growth and intimacy.
Although some people struggle with vulnerability in their relationships for fear of getting hurt, rejected, or judged, it’s something that can be cultivated.
If being vulnerable was easy, anyone would do it. In reality, it’s difficult and not everyone can manage to be open and supportive of someone who chooses to be vulnerable.
Like trust, it needs to be earned.
If you feel like your partner isn’t open or willing to understand your feelings and emotions, maybe it’s time to reassess your relationship.
Nevertheless, when you open up to someone, take your time. Being vulnerable takes courage, and it should never feel forced or rushed.
